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Gimmefeet: You have to become comfortable with yourself, then you will find you will become comfortable with everyone else, and then you'll get your women....and their feet...and everything will be just peachy
-------------------- If feet are your bottom line, you're gonna get trampled...if women are your bottom line, you're gonna get lovestruck!
quote:Originally posted by ozboy: Fate111 - Fucken awesome post man !! ur a genious and u sprout great wisdom !! Man I'm also in the same boat as Gimmee; just cant seem to get the chiks and I think my problem is as u've stated - I come accross desperate. Man a gem of a post thanks man...
Thanks, ozboy. I wouldn't call myself a genius or anything. This stuff is out there to learn, as the other posters here have eluded to (i.e. Mystery, David DeAngelo, etc.). I'm merely giving advice based on what I've learned through doing my homework and seeing material by these dating guys and pick up artists. It totally changed my way of thinking when it comes to women. I can look back now on situations when things didn't work between me and a girl and point out exactly what I did wrong, whereas I was totally clueless before when I got the response in the past from a girl or two that went along the lines of "It's not you, it's me".
The thing is that these guys who have that kind of stuff out there are not just about "pick up lines". Pick up lines in and of themselves won't work with women. It's not about the words. You have to totally own who you are and be confident and comfortable with yourself. The pick up guys teach you how to be that as well with body language and also changing your mindframe on the way you look at things.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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"The Game" is an interesting read. It does give you the names of the guys who have since come into prominence in the whole "pickup" and dating scene who would now be considered experts in the field. The story revolves around a guy named "Style" and his dealings with Mystery and how Style hooked up with Mystery, got involved in pickup and the results of that meeting. Believe it or not, it's not all that glorious and pretty. While the story does give a little insight as to some the techniques these guys use, it's not the book that tells it all as far as actual "game" goes. I've done research on this material (i.e. women & attraction) for the last couple of years and have some background in looking at this stuff so I didn't have too many problems knowing what they were talking about when listing different "routines" in the book, for the most part.
If you're serious about wanting to learn some things in this area, I would suggest looking up any of the guys listed in the prior posts. They all have products available online that you can check out and delve into at various levels. Some are inexpensive or moderately inexpensive, and some are a bit more pricey. They all have their different methods of teaching, which goes to show there's more than one way to gain the end result, but there are some basic tenets that are similar in each of their methods.
The thing that I find cool is that this stuff is not about "seduction" or trying to talk the pants (or panties) off of women. What these guys teach is a mindset that the majority of guys don't have when they go out "on the hunt" for women. Once you develop that mindset, you'll already be quite a few steps ahead of most guys out there who think logically when to comes to women and attraction, since the process is actually quite illogical.
As I mentioned before, this stuff is more about your attitude, your confidence and your mindset, rather than about some sort of "clever line" to use when you're talking to women. The best "line" in the world (if there really is such a thing, which, from what I've seen, there isn't one) will make you fall flat on your face if you don't deliver it in the proper manner. It's more about the internal stuff inside you - i.e. the stuff that you can control, your feelings, your emotions, your intent and mindset - than it is about the external - i.e. the women and your surroundings and things you can't control. Which, when you think about it, really makes sense.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Thank you, Fate111! I thank all of you! We're all fellow foot brothers, and we deserve all the female feet we want, because we stick together!!
Posts: 136 | Registered: Apr 2006
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yes thanks Fate for your knowledge, all this stuff is really quite intriguing. I think at the end of the day "Nice guys dont get laid"...
Posts: 461 | Registered: Dec 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ozboy: yes thanks Fate for your knowledge, all this stuff is really quite intriguing. I think at the end of the day "Nice guys dont get laid"...
Well said, ozboy.
I spent some time back when I was completely clueless about this on any level and came up with a theory that went something like, "Girls like guys who are assholes." I find this to still be true. However, I think most guys really don't want to go to that extreme and act like a complete jerk (in a bad way) to get a girl. There are ways to "push a woman's buttons", so to speak, that conveys the right message to a woman that the guy she's dealing with is strong (and I don't mean physically strong, but strong in character) and a challenge to her, which are very attractive qualities for any guy to have when it comes to dealing with women, but doesn't compromise his principles. The key is to develop that mindset of being a strong person and knowing how to respond when a woman begins testing you on that level.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Fate111's first post was especially good. I'd like to reiterate it from a different angle: A great sage (well, OK, it was my father - who could have easily drunk the "Rat Pack" under the table and driven them home on his way to work) once said, "The best parties are the ones you don't plan." The truth of this takes some time to sink in and makes some fundamental assumptions. To wit (oh, man! I love when I can throw in some older English): You are an honorable person and you are comfortable in your own skin.
Stop trying to make something happen. Don't try to read someone's mind; in other words, don't guess at hidden messages because they aren't there. Stop trying to force conditions.
This is nearly reaching a Zen sort of approach. Expect nothing, knowing that, in this way, you will not be disappointed. This is something you cannot MAKE happen. You must LET it happen.
Relax. Just be yourself. When the time is right, you don't even have to know it, it will tell you.
So much for quoting my ancestors.
As a comic wished, that desperation would actually make one attractive............It does just the opposite
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Honestly, Confidence Bro...Confidence. Girls don't like dudes who don't like themselves, I know I've been there learn to like yourself...man I sound like Dr. Phil
-------------------- **on the first day, God created feet..and it was good** Posts: 315 | Registered: Mar 2007
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Hmmm. What about dudes like me? I don't really have a low self esteem but am quite introverted and quiet. Is this always a bad thing? Or can you be confident and introverted at the same time without complications?
Posts: 962 | Registered: Jun 2007
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Confidence and introversion aren't mutually exclusive. I can't recall any character that Clint Eastwood played that could be called "gregarious"; that "Rambo" guy wasn't much of a talker but I would say that he was, at least, self-possessed. Please, don't misunderstand me, I recognize that those are Hollywood creations and not role models suited to the real world; nor am I suggesting that you go to a party to lift heavy things or punch somebody's lights out.
What I am trying to say is that women are keen observers and judge less on what is said and more by behavior. Introversion is not glancing away when eye-contact is made (that's just plain shyness), there is nothing that prevents a warm smile at that moment - a steely, unblinking glare, however, might not be the best thing, either. If she holds your gaze, go over and simply say hello (there's nothing in the introvert's rule-book that forbids this). Let her do the talking...you need only appear to be listening - introverts tend to take some time for consideration before they respond to questions.
As an introvert, you don't have to talk much but what you say had better show some thought. All that is really required is that you are comfortable in the 6-7 cubic feet of air that you occupy.
Don't dress-up your shyness as introversion (if that's the case). Remember that it is true that you can't lose a race if you don't run...but you don't stand a chance of winning, either.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Well. I can admit that I am shy to a certain extent. But not much. Some of it stems from being an introvert though and feeling nervous about how my quiet nature will affect people. I mainly feel that way because people HAVE reacted badly to it. A lot of people deem it weird or unusual. So along with my introversion I do get nervous about making people feel uncomfortable. Other than that I'm mostly at peace with it.
I'm just hoping to deal with it in a way that works in my favour. Your Hollywood examples were kinda good at highlighting how the "silent type" can be made into a positive in a sense. It HAS worked for me on the VERY rare occasion.
Posts: 962 | Registered: Jun 2007
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I've thought about what you say about yourself, DeadGoon. Will try to get it in if my computor will just obey me. Problems. Gotta go.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Toetapper: Confidence and introversion aren't mutually exclusive. I can't recall any character that Clint Eastwood played that could be called "gregarious"; that "Rambo" guy wasn't much of a talker but I would say that he was, at least, self-possessed. Please, don't misunderstand me, I recognize that those are Hollywood creations and not role models suited to the real world; nor am I suggesting that you go to a party to lift heavy things or punch somebody's lights out.
What I am trying to say is that women are keen observers and judge less on what is said and more by behavior. Introversion is not glancing away when eye-contact is made (that's just plain shyness), there is nothing that prevents a warm smile at that moment - a steely, unblinking glare, however, might not be the best thing, either. If she holds your gaze, go over and simply say hello (there's nothing in the introvert's rule-book that forbids this). Let her do the talking...you need only appear to be listening - introverts tend to take some time for consideration before they respond to questions.
As an introvert, you don't have to talk much but what you say had better show some thought. All that is really required is that you are comfortable in the 6-7 cubic feet of air that you occupy.
Don't dress-up your shyness as introversion (if that's the case). Remember that it is true that you can't lose a race if you don't run...but you don't stand a chance of winning, either.
good post
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
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