quote:Originally posted by Martial Law: It kinda already sounds a bit like stalking if all she did was say "hi" to you and you're asking for her number and adding her on MySpace...
well, we talked for a bit while i was heading to lunch and asked to hang out. i usually ask that just to keep in contact instead of agreeing to hang out and getting ditched. but yeah, if everyone on the board now thinks i'm a stalker for even pursuing this, then sorry for making the thread.
and besides, not often does a girl actually respond to me saying "Hi", so i might as well ask.
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Jeez, no need to be such a Negative Norman! But seriously, women especially pick up on stuff like this as a hit-on attempt; you might see it as just being friendly but to her it's eagerness that only comes from someone interested in something more than friendship.
And TBH if you're set on giving her a foot massage you are after something more, regardless of how you want to play it. That probably comes across to her in your interactions.
Posts: 517 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I really feel like you are baiting people to rip on you. Intentionally. Like cutting or something except social or emotional instead of physical.
Posts: 639 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ozkar: I really feel like you are baiting people to rip on you.
i didn't bait anyone into anything, so go to hell for that. he's the one who called me a stalker
That was worded harshly and I did not supply ample context however I was not speaking in hyperbole.
What I observe historically is that in response to your requests for counsel people give you some good advice, and in earnest, then you immediately refute it. One can not avoid considering the question: If he is going to immediately dismiss anything anyone suggests then why does he even ask in the first place? What is he looking for?
One possibility is that you don't like yourself however you don't believe you alone have the power to become what you want to be. If this is the case, fortunately for you you are mistaken, you can change if you want to. Another likely thing that makes you make sense to me is that you could be an emotional masochist. I'm not making fun of you by saying that, I believe you have the right to be that way if you derive pleasure from it. It is a fascinating concept. Lastly I suppose it is necessary to include the null hypothesis as well, that is that I could just be completely mistaken in all of this crap.
In your case I am not inclined toward the null hypothesis. Superficially your behavior here seems to fit more with the second hypothesis, however I favor the first. I think your immediate refutation of good ideas may stem from a possible perception of this forum as more of a private place than a public place, almost as if this forum was a proxy for your own thoughts. Therefore as quickly as you would be inclined to doubt yourself, you doubt what is said here. That would fit with the pattern I observe.
If this is the case I recommend you work hard to prevent yourself from immediately doubting yourself and to abstain from analyzing every situation you find yourself in from a standpoint which assumes negativity about yourself.
Step one is to stop yourself from going down negative paths of thought about yourself (I don't know what will work for you but there are lots of techniques). Step two is to start actively telling yourself you are "the man" (this step is counter-intuitive but completely necessary). Step three is passively growing to actually believe it (this one happens by itself).
With this new outlook I am certain you will find satisfaction. Your angst will be a distant memory. The ability to do this is innately human so you absolutely can do it. Unless you are some kind of robot. Then you are screwed.
Posts: 639 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ozkar: I really feel like you are baiting people to rip on you.
i didn't bait anyone into anything, so go to hell for that. he's the one who called me a stalker
That was worded harshly and I did not supply ample context however I was not speaking in hyperbole.
What I observe historically is that in response to your requests for counsel people give you some good advice, and in earnest, then you immediately refute it. One can not avoid considering the question: If he is going to immediately dismiss anything anyone suggests then why does he even ask in the first place? What is he looking for?
One possibility is that you don't like yourself however you don't believe you alone have the power to become what you want to be. If this is the case, fortunately for you you are mistaken, you can change if you want to. Another likely thing that makes you make sense to me is that you could be an emotional masochist. I'm not making fun of you by saying that, I believe you have the right to be that way if you derive pleasure from it. It is a fascinating concept. Lastly I suppose it is necessary to include the null hypothesis as well, that is that I could just be completely mistaken in all of this crap.
In your case I am not inclined toward the null hypothesis. Superficially your behavior here seems to fit more with the second hypothesis, however I favor the first. I think your immediate refutation of good ideas may stem from a possible perception of this forum as more of a private place than a public place, almost as if this forum was a proxy for your own thoughts. Therefore as quickly as you would be inclined to doubt yourself, you doubt what is said here. That would fit with the pattern I observe.
If this is the case I recommend you work hard to prevent yourself from immediately doubting yourself and to abstain from analyzing every situation you find yourself in from a standpoint which assumes negativity about yourself.
Step one is to stop yourself from going down negative paths of thought about yourself (I don't know what will work for you but there are lots of techniques). Step two is to start actively telling yourself you are "the man" (this step is counter-intuitive but completely necessary). Step three is passively growing to actually believe it (this one happens by itself).
With this new outlook I am certain you will find satisfaction. Your angst will be a distant memory. The ability to do this is innately human so you absolutely can do it. Unless you are some kind of robot. Then you are screwed.
annddd, considering you claimed i was "baiting", what in the blue fuck hell makes you think i'll give a shit about what you just said???
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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