posted
Ok so here's what happened last night. After she got out if the bath and we were joking around having fun, I said i wanted to go down on her! And she let me. She offered to do a 69 and I said no, I just want to make you cum. To which she replied why?
Anyway I ignored that and carried on, I made her cum and she was really happy about it. I went to the toilet and cane back through, I asked for a footjob. Imediately she attaked me saying "I knew you'd ask for that", and then said I thoight you were only gonna ask for it once a month.
You can imagine how fucked off I was. I couldn't help it, I got defensive and said to her she was being ridiculous and selfish.. Anyway the conclusion was that she said she couldn't help it, it brought back the "bad feelings" and that was that.
So what am I supposed to do? Keep making her cum in hope she will relax about it? I've always had sex with her, I'm an amazing boyfriend. I put in loads of effort and I'll just end up feeling resentful. We were having a great evening until I brought up the foot thing which ruined the whole mood and our nights sleep.
She's said she's not ruled it out completely but I just feel fucking rubbish about it now, like there's no hope. I give up with this stupid foot fetish ruining my relationships which would otherwise be perfectly happy. It's a headache and times like this make me wish I never had it at all
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
maybe there is just something wrong with me. For as long as I can remember I've used this forum to vent and tell stupid long stories of how I'm struggling to incorporate foot ferishm into my life, in hope that I'll learn something.
I had a good thing and blew it but I just dont see any hope of ever having the foot fetish life I want, like other guys have, cos I just mess it all up.
Well, most people will advise I break it off with my girl, maybe I should, and go back to singledom. Or I can try to keep pushing on and not feel sorry for myself and hope that things will change. They might do.
Thanks for everybodies help advice, it's all useful and appreciated and I'm sure would get me somewhere if I could actually put it into practise!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
I think this is all on her. Relationships are about giving and taking equally, and clearly, she simply doesn't want to accept this part of you. If you're doing all kinds of things to make her satisfied, and she's hung up on something that you want in return, it won't work. This isn't about feet anymore, it's more about her not willing to embrace everything about you. There's "conditions" now, and that's not fair to you. She shouldn't be hanging it over your head.
Posts: 2681 | Registered: Mar 2006
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bluetoelover
unregistered
posted
There is only one thing that I can see why she would be pissed off at your request. You said it within like what 5 minutes of making her come? She now will automatically assume from now on that anytime you want to do ANYTHING nice for her(not just sexual) that you have alterior motives(footjob).
The only thing I can suggest is for you to go about 2 or 3 weeks of just pure giving and don't even mention footjobs to her. Heck, don't even LOOK at her feet. Act as if they are not even there. I know that sounds crazy but I can almost guarantee that it will bug her, maybe not right off the bat but over the course of a week of you not even so much as looking at her feet when she's walking around barefoot she will be thinking about it in her mind.
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posted
Really? No one here at all said it? I even had to read through the thread twice to make sure, and if someone did say it and I missed it, I'm sorry.
Straight up, she is using your fetish as a weapon. She didn't like the way you were treating her, so instead of leaving you or talking to you she takes away something she knows you love. Now, she only brings it out once in a while when things are good? It's her carrot on a stick dude.
That's the problem with going back to an ex, the reasons you broke up in the first place usually come back to haunt you. If you went and got help and made an effort to grow and move on, good on ya. You obviously learned from the first relationship. However, for you both to try again, you both need to let go of your past history, as it's irrelivent to your current reltionship. Or at least, should be.
-------------------- Never be bought, never be sold... Posts: 143 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Getting back with your ex? That's your problem to begin with man...
And here's another thing....I really, really don't understand how someone who put you through that much pain, either it being your fault or not, how the hell can you even be cordial to her is beyond me. How can you even look at her??
Like yea i get it, i get the whole "I needed to mature" thing and "I've changed" and "i went to counseling" and all that shit...i get all that.
What you should do is take that scar that took so long to heal, make sure that it has healed, realize where things went wrong previously, and use that as a learning experience for your NEXT partner....NOT YOUR EX! You ended up changing because of you...not because of her? What, because she left you? Common...
Further more, the whole reason you feel "chill" and "relaxed" and "different" supposedly, is because you had your heart broken. Its called girl dicking guy over. Yes, that's that "chill" feeling that you feel, ask any guy out there who's gone through this already they'll say the same thing. Some people would call it "shock"...others call it "reflecting"...its the same thing.
Now here you go again, bringing up the same issues that you were facing previously with this broad. "this previously lead to this" and "before we used to do this" but "now its different because of this, im different"....blah blah blah
Whatever man...what do you want from us? Your getting the same feet you had before...big deal. Things are good now but you guys are gonna end up right at square one just because of the history you two have.
Get over this girl and go to someone else, wake up.
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by lamp: im going to see her tonight and give her a help out around the house, and maybe in exchange she'll let me rub her feet etc.!
There's a big clue. You've made this a business transaction instead of a natural part of your relationship. You said you got a little obsessive-compulsive about her feet, and that your fetish overtook your sex life. Really? No kidding?
You don't see this being more of the past? I'm betting she does.
Instead of letting foot play develop naturally -- we're in bed, we're kissing, we're laughing, we're loving each other, I'm kissing your feet, I'm sucking your toes, we're hugging again, I'm going down on you, you're giving me a footjob, we're kissing some more -- you're coming across as being laser-focused on one thing: her feet and how you can get them.
If I were your girl, I'd have a few reservations, too. You've got to be careful how you're presenting yourself, man. As Patrick and others properly noted, she's got to feel like you're into her, not just her body parts.
Keep up the counseling. And it probably would be a very good idea to make her a part of it -- if for no other reason than to see that you're making a good-faith effort to get your mind right.
And here's another thing....I really, really don't understand how someone who put you through that much pain, either it being your fault or not, how the hell can you even be cordial to her is beyond me.
What you should do is take that scar that took so long to heal, make sure that it has healed, realize where things went wrong previously, and use that as a learning experience for your NEXT partner....NOT YOUR EX! You ended up changing because of you...not because of her? What, because she left you? Common...
Further more, the whole reason you feel "chill" and "relaxed" and "different" supposedly, is because you had your heart broken. Its called girl dicking guy over. Yes, that's that "chill" feeling that you feel, ask any guy out there who's gone through this already they'll say the same thing. Some people would call it "shock"...others call it "reflecting"...its the same thing.
Now here you go again, bringing up the same issues that you were facing previously with this broad. "this previously lead to this" and "before we used to do this" but "now its different because of this, im different"....blah blah blah
Whatever man...what do you want from us? Your getting the same feet you had before...big deal. Things are good now but you guys are gonna end up right at square one just because of the history you two have.
Get over this girl and go to someone else, wake up.
I can sooooooort of relate to this. When Lamp, Me and GQguy were going through that shit last year I remember Lamps' story.
I'm kinda envious in a way he got back with his ex but I suppose I chose a different path myself. I eventually cut off my 'friendship' with the girl partly because I saw a different side coming out with her.
She was HARDLY as nice to me as a 'friend' then when she poured on all the sweetness and attention the time she was chasing me.
As much as I felt for her, I decided not to 'play it cool' and told her to go fuck herself (that's the edited version), rather than play the 'cool' game for months on end when 1: I wasn't even sure if it'd work and 2: I wasn't sure if she was worth it, judging from some of the behaviour I'd seen from her.
There was this other guy who was in love with her she was downright mean to. I saw it earlier on in the game, when my feelings were hardly as strong, and I remember a part of my mind was saying "I'm not sure about you".
I wish I'd listened to myself then and pulled out. But I didn't foresee myself falling for her.
These days, though I'm over her, I'm still in a very dark place and don't trust people at all, as she seemed GENUINELY nice. I'm also disgusted at myself for falling for someone like that. I thought I knew better.
Posts: 962 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
Some women feel if a man pays too much attention to her feet that he really doesn't desire her as a person, but only for her feet, as in having loving for an inanimate object. A man has to be diplomatic in loving a woman, for she has a favorite way for you to show your love as well. For many men our first impulse at the candy store is to leap through the plate glass window and sprint to our favorite sweets. However, if a man strolls in the door and wanders around for a few minutes, he will still find his self eventually standing before his favorite sweets. However, using the latter plan the customer is not met with a sounding alarm and a baseball bat wielding store owner. Good luck finding that candy store with no alarm.
Posts: 506 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
I'm sorry I posted this story and I knew it would bother some of you the thoight of me getting back with my ex.
She fucked me about big time over Xmas and before the relationship ended I was also very unreasonable with her and lost my temper so much that I feel guilty about it. We're now trying to make a fresh start. We've spoken about it properly now and she s said that she wants the foot stuff to be ok but the bad feelings keep coming back. How I ease her back into it is my problem.
I just don't know how to go about it. How to be confident when I know I'll face rejection. When I know I have and she will see me as pushing for the foot stuff too much. How to make it fun when I wake up random days craving feet and my cravings are the problem.
I got upset and that is the problem. She's angry that she's told me she's not ruled it out completely. But i am unhappy. I am giving it a little while, giving her benefit if the doubt because I love her and I don't want to be single and alone for months (I could look for someone new in the meanwhile) and If she doesn't let me get back into it then I will ditch her..
Sounds mean but I don't have a choice. I've asked advice from female friends who have all said be patient and I am believe me I am the one compromising.
Also I do love all of her first, I do please her sexually and I am a good boyfriend. Yes I go about this wrong but I just don't know how to do it right. That's my problem, it could be the same problem with the next girl
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
On this forum I can post stuff like I really need feet and I'm upsett about it but in real life, in my world I live around people who don't understand. I'm in the minority and I have to feel lucky to even be in a relationship with regular sex when most of my friends aren't getting any..
To want a relationship with my foot fetish is what I really want, I want to fix it and get back what I had. Me and my girl are working stuff out and improving our sex life. I look at foot porn to keep that at bay and right now I've just had a bit of a crisis by getting her pregnant so we are fixing this at the mo and I'm looking after her.
Would you believe I've woken up this morning and I'm craving feet again. Last time I felt like this I made the mistakes I posted on here about making her orgasm and then asking and then getting upsett when I didn't get my way.
Maybe I need to show her this forum. She doesn't undestand why I need feet, and I see no hope of ever settling down with a girl who does cos they've all reacted like this with me. Those of you who have a good relationship like this, you are so damn lucky. Don't ever forget it.
I don't mean to sound bitter. I appreciate everyone helping me and all I want is a place to vent. Thank you
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Just so people know I've not actually acted on my desires today while we are having this pregnancy problem. I'm taking care of my girl while we get everything sorted. I love her and think that if I keep on being a good lover she will relax in the end. She let me touch her feet while watching a film last night which is a good start!
And like she put it, we can't go straight back into doing footjobs like the way things were. If I can be patient and cool about it we could get there again. And if not I'll have to end the relationship after a while. But there's no point me making arguments or making a fuss now. Might as well try to be positive first right.
Sorry for the rants
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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