posted
Very true, many people overlook the extent to which they have over the image they project to others.
Granted there's no way to control what others think of you, nor should it steer the direction of your opinions, but we get to choose the archetypes we embrace.
Humans are very tribal. We like to associate with others of the same tribe, tribes we would like to belong to, or tribes we would like to at least visit.
quote: I'm often amazed when a hot girl I met 30 seconds ago is now following me to go sit down and show me her feet.
It's probably more amazing to some because we tend to put women too high up on a pedestal if they look good or have nice feet and don't think of them or treat our interactions with them as simple normal day to day human interactions. Whether it's talking about feet or even the weather, it shouldn't matter. Rather some type of magical hunting trip where our adrenaline is pumping and we have unreal expectations of the outcome, there's always room for error.
--------------------
Join thousands of our fans on Twitter @Norcalfeetdotco Posts: 18302 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: Yeah it really isn't rocket science, but there's a definite art to it, and still a huge percentage of guys who struggle with something as simple as talking to strangers, women in particular. cbf
well, in that case, it isn't really rocket science. there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep so y'all can mock him for not being some smooth womanizer. trust me, kid, it's not worth the stress. better off checking out backpage and dropping some coin instead of dropping self-esteem failing with women.
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep
...and therein lies the difference between a skillful magician (who has countless examples of his work publicly posted for all to see) versus creepy curmudgeons who have nothing better to do than to criticize, while offering no tangible examples of their own success in the field.
be careful fellas, it's a curmudgeon eat curmudgeon world out there.
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep
...and therein lies the difference between a skillful magician (who has countless examples of his work publicly posted for all to see) versus creepy curmudgeons who have nothing better to do than to criticize, while offering no tangible examples of their own success in the field.
be careful fellas, it's a curmudgeon eat curmudgeon world out there.
so...i'm creepy because i'm bribing crackwhores like you have done with feet grosser then an 80 y/o indian yogi with crack rocks to pose their feet? or almost gotten arrested cause your idea of "good material" are skid row skanks looking for one last fix before kicking the bucket and rotting in some alley or open field in whatever hick dump town you're from/
good one, bro! just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: so...i'm creepy because
I'm not sure what made you qualify yourself as a creep based on the criteria from my comment, but I was not referring to you. Perhaps there's insider knowledge you have about yourself that the rest of us are unaware of?
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: i'm bribing crackwhores...
Good for you and to each their own. I, personally, prefer classy women who are willing of their own accord, but that's just my tastes. Hockockockockockockock!
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
While I'm a fan of speculation, I don't have any idear what you're talking about. Keep the dream alive fellas!!
posted
I know that a lot of guys out there have a big, big problem with just getting over their fears of approaching strange and beautiful women, getting them to remove their shoes so that you can take pictures of their feet at a moment's notice.
The best way that I can describe this feeling is that there's a friction as two different sides of you want different results. On the one hand, you see a hot, sexy girl and you go, "WOW, I really want her ... I would love to be so close to her feet, my GOD that would be a dream come true ...” Part of that is your evolutionary programming telling you to be close to women who make you very excited and that's why your attraction circuit fires up and things of that nature. But the other part of it is the fear that if you approach her from out of nowhere and try to get feet pictures from her, then something bad is going to happen. So the friction comes between the desire and the fear - on the one hand, you really want that girl, you want to approach her in hopes that she will magically remove her shoes for you in a matter of seconds, letting you take pics of her feet. On the other hand, you're really, really scared of embarrassment, of rejection, of bad emotions.
You see, that is the major problem when it comes to the evolutionary approach to curtailing your nervousness of approaching totally random women: is that the fear is not real. In most situations, you're not going to get into a fight unless you start something, when you're out there trying to get feet pictures out of women in public. The fear is actually of the bad emotions and of the social repercussions. Basically, feeling nervous about approaching these women comes down to the fear of being a loser. You don't want to be the guy who gets rejected, gets laughed at, you don't want to be the guy that people are thinking, "You see that guy over there? What a weirdo, trying to get feet pictures from women ... he's a creep and now it's been proven 100 percent." So it becomes this thought loop because your thoughts tend to form loops, meaning that they go over and over again. Once you get into a downward cycle of letting those nervous feelings take over your emotions, it becomes really, really difficult to get out of it.
This is the fear of rejection, the fear of the social ramifications as well as the friction of the desire of wanting these women and their feet at your disposal.
--
WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? There are schools of thought out there that believe it's 100 percent evolutionary, that every guy becomes extremely nervous when it comes to approaching new women, whether he has a foot fetish or not. I don't believe that to be completely true because there are men out there who don't feel that way. There are cultures in where men are not quite that way, such as Italian men and guys from Brasil. They seem to be much less nervous when it comes to approaching women just for the sake of starting a normal conversation when you compare them to guys from the United States, Australia, even Canada.
One of the things we're taught as little kids is that we should't talk to strangers. While that's pretty good advice for someone who's eight years old, for an eighteen year old it's not the best advice, especially since most of us are not living in a super scary, talk-to-strangers-and-get-kidnapped-or-killed environment. That idea came to us from our parents when they were ensuring that our safety was at the top of their priority list. Cultures where it's not as normal to talk to strangers, where it's not as easy to strike up conversations and be more social tend to be more nervous about meeting strangers.
The other thing is that there is a small amount of evolution to the idea of approaching someone new because we have been evolved in a way that sticking to the norm of social behavior is a better overall survival strategy. In other words, the more we stand out in anything, whether it's getting feet pictures from women, making a lot of money, being a professional athlete or anything like that, the more of a target you make yourself. So evolutionarily speaking, we are evolved to have behaviors not to avoid approaching, but to avoid standing out and causing a social raucous.
--
WHY DO WE FEEL NERVOUS ABOUT DOING THIS? The answer is that feeling this nervous "protects" us. Our brains don't want to give us bad emotions. This is why we have all sorts of social behaviors from the overly polite cultures of Japanese people to the ideas of social norms. All these things exist because we're trying to protect ourselves from bad emotions. Humans in general feel very badly about going up to someone they find attractive for the first time, which explains why there's the entire self-help industry predicated on the ideas that you can avoid bad emotions forever. Now I'd love to be able to tell you that you can ... but you really can't. You're going to have some bad emotions, especially when it comes to getting good at doing this, which can be a very intimidating thing to master for someone who's never done this before because you're trying to go up to complete strangers out in the park and convince them to remove their shoes and socks for you for foot fetish pictures in a very rapid fashion. I mean, it's definitely possible because I've done it enough times to count with one hand and with a calculator on the other. However, you need to understand that as a beginner this can be very difficult for you and that there will be some bad emotions along the way. If you're trying to protect yourself from bad emotions, you're never going to get good at this game.
So right now you have to accept that in your journey, there's going to be a trade-off, and the trade-off is going to look something like this: some days you're going to go out and have 8-10 bad approaches and you're going to feel like a loser. In fact, you're going to feel as if you've lost all ability to talk to women in exchange for a few of those days, and a couple of months upfront of being socially miscalibrated, you will eventually be able to have the skill set to go up to just about any woman you want and get her to pose her feet for you. So, yes, there is a trade-off and there will be bad emotions along the way. It will be difficult and you will start to lose confidence in yourself. These things are perfectly normal when it comes to doing this ... but a lot of guys don't want to hear that.
This explains the "why" of why we feel nervous about starting a conversation with a new person and you have to be willing to expose yourself to bad emotions in order to fix your nervous traits. You'll have to go through those emotions in a trade-off that eventually you'll be able to have the set of skills that will give you the results you really want.
--
HOW DOES THIS MANIFEST ITSELF? Generally, a couple of different things. I think feeling nervous about doing this is different from just being lazy. Some of us are just too lazy to approach. This is something that happens to me from time to time where I say to myself after an excruciating day at work, and I'm nowhere near the park, [sighs] "Man, do I really have to go there now?"
So when I talk about feeling nervous about approaching a stranger, I'm saying that this manifests itself physically in your stomach, you may get sweaty palms, your heart may beat faster, you may start to sweat in extreme cases, you might find yourself frozen and unable to move, you may find that your throat is clogging up. Even if you can eek out a few words, they come out much softer than you normally intended them to. All of those things explains how those uncomfortable feelings kind of manifests itself, in addition to having a lack of motivation for you to approach, making up excuses for yourself, coming up with reasons as to why this isn't going to work. All of that comes from feeling so nervous when it comes to the approach.
--
WHEN DOES THIS HAPPEN? You start to get nervous when you're thinking about approaching, when you think it's a good idea to approach. Generally, it doesn't happen while you're sitting on your couch, although in extreme cases, it may start just as you're about to leave your home before you decide to go out and practice your game. This is not something that you're going to be able to avoid, but you have to be able to recognize the situation in order to get better at it.
--
Before I wrap up, I want to talk about a couple of things that some foot troopers might do out there that'll make them even MORE nervous.
One of these things is hovering. If you're going to approach, you have to go in hard. This is a real big rule when it comes to going out and approaching girls is that you have to commit to the approach. Once you've done it, commit to it. Don't just hover around the girl and wait for the perfect opening. The perfect opening is something that you should not wait for. You're going to have to approach her, you're going to have to do it. Sometimes, your approach is going to be clunky, sometimes it's going to go great when you're not expecting it. Just know that you're never going to get that perfect opportunity where the girl is going to remove her shoes to massage her own feet, giving you Gateway-to-Heaven opportunity where you can just walk right up to her and offer to do the massaging for her.
Don't hover, don't wait for something to happen. You must be able to get into the habit of being someone who makes things happen as opposed to someone who waits for things to happen.
And the other thing I want to talk about is the idea of over-thinking. Over-thinking is something that can plague you. It comes from the fact that you're a reasonably intelligent guy, and you want to be good at everything you do because you think you're smart enough to figure everything out. Because you read all this stuff about the best ways to approach women for feet pictures, guys start to over-think things such as,
- Should I go direct or indirect? - Do I use a situational opener, or what? - Should I say, “Hey miss. ” Or “Excuse me.” - What if this happens? - What if that happens? - Let's say that doesn't work, what do I do next? - What if she ...?
... Forget that stuff because it doesn't make that much of a different in the grand scheme of things. In fact, if someone were to say, "Okay, National, I want want you to give this guy some tips when it comes to getting feet pictures. However, you can either give him no advice whatsoever and have him approach women for three hours a day, or you can give him all the advice in the world but he can only approach girls for an hour a day." I'll take the three-hour option. Going out and doing things badly is one of my rules for making you feel less nervous about approaching strangers out there. It's okay to do it badly. Sometimes when I'm out in the park and I see someone who I think makes for an interesting subject, I will strike up a conversation with her. If she stops, I'll keep talking to her. If she ignores me, then I'll just brush that off as a warm-up.
Doing it better is more important than not doing it at all. A lot of this is about establishing the correct habits for you. Talking to beautiful women and trying to get feet pictures out of them on a consistent basis is a very useful habit, even if you're doing it badly. So don't try to over-think things and trying to come up with the perfect pick-up. There's this FALLACY out there that there's the perfect pick-up line when it comes to doing this where you can just zoom right in, everything goes 100 percent right, you'll never have any problems, and you'll land the girl every time. It does NOT work like that. This is a numbers game, meaning that the more women you approach, the better you're going to get at this ... both because you're improving your game as you go along, and because you are exposing yourself to more women who might like you.
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: so...i'm creepy because
I'm not sure what made you qualify yourself as a creep based on the criteria from my comment, but I was not referring to you. Perhaps there's insider knowledge you have about yourself that the rest of us are unaware of?
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: i'm bribing crackwhores...
Good for you and to each their own. I, personally, prefer classy women who are willing of their own accord, but that's just my tastes. Hockockockockockockock!
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
While I'm a fan of speculation, I don't have any idear what you're talking about. Keep the dream alive fellas!!
sure, whatever fred. if you call what you've been posting all these years "classy" then me and GQGuy are the same fucking person.
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: then me and GQGuy are the same fucking person.
sorry my friend, but you're a long way off
you have to be a fucking moron. no new content in years from you. what happened? ended up on sex offender status after one of your crackwhore models who you made cry on film reported you to the cops?
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: you have to be a fucking moron. no new content in years from you. what happened? ended up on sex offender status after one of your crackwhore models who you made cry on film reported you to the cops?
I'm assuming we're talking about the same person, ie. me. But sadly, I have no idear what you're talking about. Sounds like somebody is feeding you the wrong information. Wish I could help, honestly, but not sure what source you are referencing (please double check my post history).
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88:
quote:Originally posted by Patrick: Back on topic fellas. Keep this stuff off the board.
Patrick
no problem.
Agreed, please get back on topic and quit focusing on me. I'm not the cold approach master.
quote:Originally posted by National: I know that a lot of guys out there have a big, big problem with just getting over their fears of approaching strange and beautiful women, getting them to remove their shoes so that you can take pictures of their feet at a moment's notice.
The best way that I can describe this feeling is that there's a friction as two different sides of you want different results. On the one hand, you see a hot, sexy girl and you go, "WOW, I really want her ... I would love to be so close to her feet, my GOD that would be a dream come true ...” Part of that is your evolutionary programming telling you to be close to women who make you very excited and that's why your attraction circuit fires up and things of that nature. But the other part of it is the fear that if you approach her from out of nowhere and try to get feet pictures from her, then something bad is going to happen. So the friction comes between the desire and the fear - on the one hand, you really want that girl, you want to approach her in hopes that she will magically remove her shoes for you in a matter of seconds, letting you take pics of her feet. On the other hand, you're really, really scared of embarrassment, of rejection, of bad emotions.
You see, that is the major problem when it comes to the evolutionary approach to curtailing your nervousness of approaching totally random women: is that the fear is not real. In most situations, you're not going to get into a fight unless you start something, when you're out there trying to get feet pictures out of women in public. The fear is actually of the bad emotions and of the social repercussions. Basically, feeling nervous about approaching these women comes down to the fear of being a loser. You don't want to be the guy who gets rejected, gets laughed at, you don't want to be the guy that people are thinking, "You see that guy over there? What a weirdo, trying to get feet pictures from women ... he's a creep and now it's been proven 100 percent." So it becomes this thought loop because your thoughts tend to form loops, meaning that they go over and over again. Once you get into a downward cycle of letting those nervous feelings take over your emotions, it becomes really, really difficult to get out of it.
This is the fear of rejection, the fear of the social ramifications as well as the friction of the desire of wanting these women and their feet at your disposal.
--
WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? There are schools of thought out there that believe it's 100 percent evolutionary, that every guy becomes extremely nervous when it comes to approaching new women, whether he has a foot fetish or not. I don't believe that to be completely true because there are men out there who don't feel that way. There are cultures in where men are not quite that way, such as Italian men and guys from Brasil. They seem to be much less nervous when it comes to approaching women just for the sake of starting a normal conversation when you compare them to guys from the United States, Australia, even Canada.
One of the things we're taught as little kids is that we should't talk to strangers. While that's pretty good advice for someone who's eight years old, for an eighteen year old it's not the best advice, especially since most of us are not living in a super scary, talk-to-strangers-and-get-kidnapped-or-killed environment. That idea came to us from our parents when they were ensuring that our safety was at the top of their priority list. Cultures where it's not as normal to talk to strangers, where it's not as easy to strike up conversations and be more social tend to be more nervous about meeting strangers.
The other thing is that there is a small amount of evolution to the idea of approaching someone new because we have been evolved in a way that sticking to the norm of social behavior is a better overall survival strategy. In other words, the more we stand out in anything, whether it's getting feet pictures from women, making a lot of money, being a professional athlete or anything like that, the more of a target you make yourself. So evolutionarily speaking, we are evolved to have behaviors not to avoid approaching, but to avoid standing out and causing a social raucous.
--
WHY DO WE FEEL NERVOUS ABOUT DOING THIS? The answer is that feeling this nervous "protects" us. Our brains don't want to give us bad emotions. This is why we have all sorts of social behaviors from the overly polite cultures of Japanese people to the ideas of social norms. All these things exist because we're trying to protect ourselves from bad emotions. Humans in general feel very badly about going up to someone they find attractive for the first time, which explains why there's the entire self-help industry predicated on the ideas that you can avoid bad emotions forever. Now I'd love to be able to tell you that you can ... but you really can't. You're going to have some bad emotions, especially when it comes to getting good at doing this, which can be a very intimidating thing to master for someone who's never done this before because you're trying to go up to complete strangers out in the park and convince them to remove their shoes and socks for you for foot fetish pictures in a very rapid fashion. I mean, it's definitely possible because I've done it enough times to count with one hand and with a calculator on the other. However, you need to understand that as a beginner this can be very difficult for you and that there will be some bad emotions along the way. If you're trying to protect yourself from bad emotions, you're never going to get good at this game.
So right now you have to accept that in your journey, there's going to be a trade-off, and the trade-off is going to look something like this: some days you're going to go out and have 8-10 bad approaches and you're going to feel like a loser. In fact, you're going to feel as if you've lost all ability to talk to women in exchange for a few of those days, and a couple of months upfront of being socially miscalibrated, you will eventually be able to have the skill set to go up to just about any woman you want and get her to pose her feet for you. So, yes, there is a trade-off and there will be bad emotions along the way. It will be difficult and you will start to lose confidence in yourself. These things are perfectly normal when it comes to doing this ... but a lot of guys don't want to hear that.
This explains the "why" of why we feel nervous about starting a conversation with a new person and you have to be willing to expose yourself to bad emotions in order to fix your nervous traits. You'll have to go through those emotions in a trade-off that eventually you'll be able to have the set of skills that will give you the results you really want.
--
HOW DOES THIS MANIFEST ITSELF? Generally, a couple of different things. I think feeling nervous about doing this is different from just being lazy. Some of us are just too lazy to approach. This is something that happens to me from time to time where I say to myself after an excruciating day at work, and I'm nowhere near the park, [sighs] "Man, do I really have to go there now?"
So when I talk about feeling nervous about approaching a stranger, I'm saying that this manifests itself physically in your stomach, you may get sweaty palms, your heart may beat faster, you may start to sweat in extreme cases, you might find yourself frozen and unable to move, you may find that your throat is clogging up. Even if you can eek out a few words, they come out much softer than you normally intended them to. All of those things explains how those uncomfortable feelings kind of manifests itself, in addition to having a lack of motivation for you to approach, making up excuses for yourself, coming up with reasons as to why this isn't going to work. All of that comes from feeling so nervous when it comes to the approach.
--
WHEN DOES THIS HAPPEN? You start to get nervous when you're thinking about approaching, when you think it's a good idea to approach. Generally, it doesn't happen while you're sitting on your couch, although in extreme cases, it may start just as you're about to leave your home before you decide to go out and practice your game. This is not something that you're going to be able to avoid, but you have to be able to recognize the situation in order to get better at it.
--
Before I wrap up, I want to talk about a couple of things that some foot troopers might do out there that'll make them even MORE nervous.
One of these things is hovering. If you're going to approach, you have to go in hard. This is a real big rule when it comes to going out and approaching girls is that you have to commit to the approach. Once you've done it, commit to it. Don't just hover around the girl and wait for the perfect opening. The perfect opening is something that you should not wait for. You're going to have to approach her, you're going to have to do it. Sometimes, your approach is going to be clunky, sometimes it's going to go great when you're not expecting it. Just know that you're never going to get that perfect opportunity where the girl is going to remove her shoes to massage her own feet, giving you Gateway-to-Heaven opportunity where you can just walk right up to her and offer to do the massaging for her.
Don't hover, don't wait for something to happen. You must be able to get into the habit of being someone who makes things happen as opposed to someone who waits for things to happen.
And the other thing I want to talk about is the idea of over-thinking. Over-thinking is something that can plague you. It comes from the fact that you're a reasonably intelligent guy, and you want to be good at everything you do because you think you're smart enough to figure everything out. Because you read all this stuff about the best ways to approach women for feet pictures, guys start to over-think things such as,
- Should I go direct or indirect? - Do I use a situational opener, or what? - Should I say, “Hey miss. ” Or “Excuse me.” - What if this happens? - What if that happens? - Let's say that doesn't work, what do I do next? - What if she ...?
... Forget that stuff because it doesn't make that much of a different in the grand scheme of things. In fact, if someone were to say, "Okay, National, I want want you to give this guy some tips when it comes to getting feet pictures. However, you can either give him no advice whatsoever and have him approach women for three hours a day, or you can give him all the advice in the world but he can only approach girls for an hour a day." I'll take the three-hour option. Going out and doing things badly is one of my rules for making you feel less nervous about approaching strangers out there. It's okay to do it badly. Sometimes when I'm out in the park and I see someone who I think makes for an interesting subject, I will strike up a conversation with her. If she stops, I'll keep talking to her. If she ignores me, then I'll just brush that off as a warm-up.
Doing it better is more important than not doing it at all. A lot of this is about establishing the correct habits for you. Talking to beautiful women and trying to get feet pictures out of them on a consistent basis is a very useful habit, even if you're doing it badly. So don't try to over-think things and trying to come up with the perfect pick-up. There's this FALLACY out there that there's the perfect pick-up line when it comes to doing this where you can just zoom right in, everything goes 100 percent right, you'll never have any problems, and you'll land the girl every time. It does NOT work like that. This is a numbers game, meaning that the more women you approach, the better you're going to get at this ... both because you're improving your game as you go along, and because you are exposing yourself to more women who might like you.
-National
Great post National! Enjoyed reading that.
Posts: 1326 | Registered: Feb 2013
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posted
If a guy is looking to first just get comfortable approaching, he could concentrate on just opening and being interesting, without even necessarily needing to bring up feet with every girl he approaches.
I see the numbers as more of a searching for the girls that you're interested in game; not so much seeing if they like you, qualifying yourself to them, or seeking their approval, but being able to spot women that you're genuinely interested in and have an intuition will be receptive to your advances.
In that sense, it's not so much a numbers game, but a card reading game, although it does take practice to get good at counting cards.
It's more difficult with average types, because it's harder to root the reason why you picked them out of all the other choices.
There are millions of pretty girls out there, in a plain-jane sort of sense. It helps when there's something of genuine interest, more than just her looks, that roots the reason why you're interested.
That way you're not just some random guy that says the same thing to all the girls, and will take anything he can get his hands on. You're a guy with standards who knows what he wants.
She feels valued for who she is, not just her looks, like you've just discovered and validated her true essence.
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