posted
Hey guys just wondered if i might be able to get a little help with something.
I'm in quite a strange situation in that I've recently got back together with my ex girlfriend. I know that first of all a lot of people would say that this is the wrong thing to do.
however, we broke up last year after getting quite stressed out, i had some personal problems left un-dealt with and i treated her quite badly. i've now been through counciling and sorted myself out.
before the break up i'd become quite obsessed with my girlfriends feet, well, not totally obsessed but my fetish became a problem in the relationship because she started to resent it and wouldnt let me near her feet, because of my approach. i used to get very upset and angry about this and it caused arguements that obviously upset her. in retrospect i can now see the damage i had done.
but now somehow we ended up back together to make a new start, she can see that i've changed my ways dramatically after spending time single. i feel like a completely different person, much more chilled out etc. we are having a lot of fun, a lot of great sex and getting on better than before, its almost perfect.
but the problem is that my girlfriend is finding difficulty letting me at her feet again. in the beginning of our relationship originally she was fine about it and quite enjoyed it, we made it fun. but now if i approach her feet she says she "freezes up" and it brings back "bad memories" of how she used to feel before we broke up. its like the damage has been done, but i dont know how to repair it or for us to get over this.
i told her that it was ok, i wasnt gonna get angry or upset over it, but we had to work on it if we were to have a future together because i have this foot fetish and i cant get rid of it.
i just want it to be a positive thing, im being very understanding because i feel in time she might relax if i approach it right. ive said to her im not gonna get obsessed again, and wanna keep it to an activity that isnt all the time. and now we are having loads of sex, im making loads of effort to please her. she has let me touch her feet in sex a few times and given me one footjob when we were drunk. we've been back together a few months now.
i just dont know what to do. there is the obvious idea of ditching her and moving on to someone else which is in the back of my mind if this doesnt work out. but like most things its all down to the way you play it, and i dont know how to play it. i never really have done!
so all i want is to be able to have some time with her feet now and again. using feet in sex is ok but its not enough. she gave me a foorjob 2 weeks ago. this weekend we had loads and loads of sex and i made her cum several times. i think when i next go to see her in a few days i should be able to go to her feet without feeling bad right? its like im being made to feel guilty because of my past!
my plan is to keep playing it cool and not get upset but try to make it fun, but im worries she's just gonna get all negative about it next time i try.
i dunno, i guess this may sound very stupid to some people but i'm sure some of you can relate to my situation somehow? sorry for the long post!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
i know how ya feel. have had girls freak out over my love of feet before.
one girlfriend was really fed up with my foot fetish, yet we'd get back together time and time again.
in the end though, i would say that if she can't come to an acceptance of your foot fetish then you should either find another girl or try to diminish your foot fetish intensity. both are entirely possible.
posted
Depending on how serious y'all are about the relationship, you should consider BOTH going to the counselor. NOT to "fix" her, but to talk out the issues. She does need to be heard, as do you. A good counselor will help you all figure it out. -hyp.
Posts: 3723 | Registered: May 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
cheers guys, thats something i never thought about.
i think she is listening and considering what i've had to say, where as i am also considering how she feels and therefore leaning back on the foot fetish stuff.
im hoping she will feel ok about it as time goes on, if not then i will have to find someone else.
maybe we both need to talk it out to other people, rather than try to discuss our points together turning into a disagreement
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
another thing i did not mention is that she is a very dirty girl and loves sex. our sex life is awesome!
she used to be totally cool with the foot fetish thing and done some amazing things with her feet too. she also paints her nails regularly and realises that they are pretty.
it wasnt until the relationship went bad that she stopped it all. i just need to work out how to get back to that place again now that the relationship is going good!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tough man. If you love her don't press the foot thing too much if she's still giving up the poon. But as we all know, men like us can't live on poon alone. Eventually she'll have to deal with her past foot demons or this will be a deal breaker. It's very insightful of you to realize that your fetish isn't going anywhere.
posted
It is hard to say exactly what to do with this situation. The best thing to do is talk, plain and simple. If there is something really bad about the whole foot thing for her, that really sucks. But like pretty much every other girl, alcohol always seems to change that, doesn't it? Annoying at times. But like I said, I'd have to talk it over. And if she lets you back in, you better be wise about the choices you make afterward or you'll be right back in the same boat.
posted
yeah i think you guys have raised some good points. its annoying in a way that i do love her so much haha because otherwise i could simply just break it off.
the problem is i dont want to be single again either, i find chasing girls exhausting and i could go a long time without any action! not only that but i am happy with my current girl, and we've spent a long time building on our relationship as a whole and making the sex good! i dont wanna cut my losses unless i discover there really is no future for my love of feet in this relationship.
so i think im gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and realise that this is something we need to work on because of the past mistakes, and not repeat those mistakes.
when i next see her im gonna ask to play with her feet, and if she says no then i'll make sure to be cool about it, but then say that we need to talk about it. because i am not getting obsessed or worked up about the situation, i am being cool and there is nothing wrong with me asking.
you never know, she may be cool about it this time! its my birthday coming up so perhaps she'll be a little generous! gonna try and keep a positive attitude and keep you guys posted.
if she lets me back in i'll have to start posting pictures Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lamp: gonna try and keep a positive attitude and keep you guys posted.
if she lets me back in i'll have to start posting pictures
Well, it sounds like you have the right mindset about this. If she lets you take pictures, I'd sure like to see them. Posts: 2828 | Registered: Jun 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
spotlight, you've got a point. however, she's not straight out refused yet. im gonna see how it goes for a bit...
if the situations does not improve then i will get rid.
but hopefully a positive mindset might get me somewhere first. i'll just have to try and see. i was curious to find out if anyone else had been through or is going through a similar situation?
i seem to go through this with every girl i meet, so i must have been doing something wrong!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lamp: before the break up i'd become quite obsessed with my girlfriends feet, well, not totally obsessed but my fetish became a problem in the relationship because she started to resent it and wouldnt let me near her feet
I think that's the key statement in your post. What happened that made her "resent it", as you put it? Where you having intercourse with her previously and making sure she was gratified?
Posts: 638 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
she said that she resent it because i put the foot stuff before intercourse in terms of priority! i became quite obsessed in the sense that i wanted it more than sex and at inconvenient times. the examples she gave were that after not seeing her in a week or so, id come over and that would be the first thing i wanted. not only that but if she didnt feel up to it, i became quite upset and i got annoyed for not wanting to do it...a bit like a vicious cycle.
i'd also bring up a problem with my previous ex girlfriend who didnt let me at her feet at all, and so i dumped that girlfriend.
so when i look at i like this, id put her under a lot of pressure. i was too intense with it, even for myself, it took over and i regret getting like that. i'd never want to be like that again.
so, its kind of a case that she's worried im gonna get like that again. and so ive said that i wont, and that im gonna keep it to every now and again that i'll ask her. and im happy with that.
im going to see her tonight and give her a help out around the house, and maybe in exchange she'll let me rub her feet etc.! and once if done that i'll be quite content to forger about it for a little while. its not that i want it all the time. just for it to be available in the relationship and to get her relaxed about it again.
she used to really like it! she'd buy kinky shoes and send me pics etc. i think its just about me setting the mood and building back trust in this situation. at least i hope!
i'll re-post soon and let you know how it goes haha. cheers!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
As much as I also like female feet, remember there is a whole lot more female above the ankles than below. With women you have to satisfy that above the ankle part a whole lot more than the below ankle part. If it's always about feet, then yes, I can see why she'd be mad. Many of us get the label as strange because there are people out there that make our fetish look strange. I say be about your fetish, but be about the girl too.
It sounds like the novelty wore off, and it usually does if you're not satisfying her regularly.
Think of it from her point of view. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that she had some sort of an elbow fetish (like I said for the sake of the argument). Every time she came over she would make a bee line right for your elbow and she did nothing (or very little) to satisfy you. If this happened time and again, I'm sure you'd grow to resent it as well.
Pay attention to her! If you can make her cum HARD regularly, I'm willing to bet anything she'll indulge in your foot fetish quite freely. I'd put the foot fetish thing aside for a while and focus on her and her sexual needs. Find out exactly what she likes and do it. Eventually, you won't even need to ask for her feet... she will offer them to you... I guarantee it.
Posts: 638 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ahh yeah, totally good points! You guys are so spot on.
For the last couple of weeks I have been having a lot of sex with her! Morning and night, making sure she cums. Infact we've been exhausted, but it's all awesome and way more important than my door fetish.
What would tend to happen if I'd give her oral however is that it would lead into sex! and when I last tried going down on her I grabbed her feet and she didn't really like that, maybe I should have waited till she came. Anyway, I'm doing all the right things.
She's actually in the bath now, and we've just tidied her house! I might ask to play with her feet?! She could say no and I could say, what if I made her cum first! Or suggest doing it tomorrow.
It's weird, I just kinda wanna make it available. Maybe i've got some kinda OCD problem! but yeah, I'm not getting obsessed like before, gonna keep giving her a good time..
But on the other hand i could keep fucking her untill i'm blue in the face and for all she knows I'd be totally satisfied, and even if not I'd be too tired for her feet!
There has to be some compromise!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
