Town Drunk: "HEY! The Sherrif Is A NNnnn...." DONG!!!!(town bell) Town Folk 1: "What did he say?" Town Folk 2: "He said the sherrif is near" ----------------------------------- Sherrif: "Hold it! The next man makes a move and the ****** gets it."
-------------------------------------------- Hedley: "Qualifications!" Crim: "Rape, Murder, Arson and Rape" Hedley: "You said rape twice" Crim: "I like rape"
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Time to resurrect this long inactive thread with some snappy Tarantino quotes:
Pulp Fiction:
Brett: [to Jules] Look, I'm sorry, I-I didn't get your name. I got yours, uh, Vincent, right? But-But I-I never got your... Jules: My name is Pitt, and your ass ain't talking your way outta this shit. Brett: [rising] No, no, no. I just want you to know how [Jules motions him to sit down] I just want you to know how sorry we are that-that things got so fucked up with us and-and Mr. Wallace. I-I-It...we-we got into this thing with the best intentions. Really. I never... [Jules shoots Flock-of-Seagulls, Brett recoils in horror] Jules: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about "best intentions"? [silence] What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished? Oh, well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: [overturns the small table in the room] What country are you from? Brett: What? Jules: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in "What"? Brett: What? Jules: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it? Brett: Yes. Jules: Then you know what I'm saying. Brett: Yes. Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like. Brett: What...? Jules: [points gun directly in Brett's face] Say "what" again. Say "what" again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker. Say "what" one more goddamn time. Brett: He-he's black. Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald. Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? Jules: [shoots Brett in the shoulder; Brett screams] DOES...HE...LOOK...LIKE A...BITCH?! Brett: [in pain] No! Jules: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: [faintly] I didn't. Jules: Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marsellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. Wallace. You read the Bible, Brett? Brett: [gasping for breath] Yes. Jules: Well, there's this passage I've got memorized, sort'a fits the occasion. Ezekiel 25:17? "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. [begins pacing about the room] And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord... [pulls out his gun and aims it at Brett] ...when I lay my vengeance upon thee." [Brett shrieks in horror as Jules and Vincent shoot him repeatedly]
Inglourious Basterds:
Ten-hut! My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm puttin' together a special team; and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've of heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only killing Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac, and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I am the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger, and that means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us, and the Germans won't be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans will be sickened by us, and the Germans will talk about us, and the Germans will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night and their tortured by their subconscious for the evil that they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that they are tortured with. Sound good?
That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be-warriors: when you join my command, you take on debit, a debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps! And all y'all will get me one hundred Nazi scalps taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis, or you will die tryin'!
Kill Bill Volume 1:
As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is I collect your fucking head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time! [Pause] I didn't think so.
Japanese Businessman: Do you like Ferraris? Gogo Yubari: [smacks down beverage bottle] Ferrari? Italian trash. Do you want to screw me? [Japanese Businessman giggles] Gogo: Don't laugh! Do you want to screw me, yes or no? Businessman: Yes. [Gogo stabs him] Gogo: How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me? Or is it I who has penetrated you?
Kill Bill Volume 2:
Looked dead, didn't I? Well, I wasn't. Actually, Bill's last bullet put me in a coma, a coma I was to lie in for four years. When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared and I rampaged and I got bloody satisfaction. I've killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point. But I have only one more. The last one, the one I'm driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination, I am gonna kill Bill.
The Bride: I was wondering, just between us girls, what did you say to Pai Mei for him to snatch out your eye? Elle Driver: I called him a miserable old fool. The Bride: Ooh, bad idea. Elle Driver: You know what I did? I killed that miserable old fool. I poisoned his fishheads. And I told him, "To me the word of an old fool like you is worth less than nothing." That's right, I killed your master. And now I'm going to kill you, with your own sword, no less, which, in the very immediate future, will become my sword. The Bride: Bitch. You don't have a future.
Bill: Pai Mei taught you the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique? The Bride: Of course he did. Bill: Why didn't you tell me? The Bride: I don't know because I'm a bad person. Bill: No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in a while, you can be a real cunt. [takes a few steps and falls dead]
-------------------- I'm the foot fuckin' master! Soles RULE and FM Concepts ROCK! Posts: 536 | Registered: Jun 2006
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King Arther - "If you will not show us the Grail we will take your castle by force!"
French Guard - "You don't frighten us English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so called Arther King! You and all your silly English Kaniggets!" *blows raspberries*
Sir Galahad - "What a strange person."
King Arther - "Now look here my good man--"
French Guard - "I don't wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
*later at Arrrrg Castle*
French Guard - "Hello daffy English Kaniggits and Monsieur Arther King who has the brain of a duck you know! So, we French fellows outwit you a second time!"
King Arther - "How dare you profane this place with your presence! I command you in the name of the Knights of Camelot to open the doors of this sacred castle to which God himself has guided us!"
French Guard - "How you English say, I unclog my nose in your direction sons of a window dresser! So, you think you can out cleaver us French folk with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior! I'll wave my private parts at your aunties you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters!"
King Arther - "In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred castle!"
French Guard - "No chance, English bed wetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a sill thing! You tiny brained wipers of other peoples bottoms!"
King Arther - "If you do not open this door we shall take this castle by force!"
*French Guard dumps waste on King Arthur's head*
King Arther - "In the name of God and the glory of our--"
*more waste is dumped*
King Arther - "Right! That settles it!" *walks away*
French Guard - "Yes, depart a lot of this time and cut the approaching any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already!"
King Arther - "Walk away. Just ignore them."
French Guard - "Now, remain gone illegitimate faced buggerfolk! And, if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English kaniggets!" *blows raspberries*
-------------------- And today we're all brothers Tonight we're all friends A moment of peace in a war that never ends Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2010
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posted
Wow.... Who dug up this ol' thread. Just re-read the posts and it's cool seeing the comments I made 3 years ago ...... anyhoo...
*
Obi Wan: "...If it's a fast ship"
Han Solo: "Fast Ship? You've never heard of the Millenniem Falcon?"
Obi Wan: "Should I have?"
Han Solo: "It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs."
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids. Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids! Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids. Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate! Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?
Harry: [to Yuri] An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Ken: [Harry shoots Ken in the leg] Fucking cunt! Harry: Like I'm not going to do nothing to you just because you're standing about like Robert fucking Powell. Ken: Like who? Harry: Like Robert fucking Powell out of Jesus of fucking Nazareth.
Natalie: [Harry gets angry and is destroying the phone, his wife approach him, saying:] Harry. Harry! It's a inanimate fucking object! Harry: [to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!
The Transformers: The Movie
Megatron: [surprised] Prime! Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall. Megatron: Why throw away your life so recklessly? Optimus Prime: That's a question you should ask YOURSELF, Megatron. Megatron: No! I'll crush you with my bare hands!
Megatron: I would have waited an eternity for this. It's over Prime. Optimus Prime: NEVER!
Brawn: [Decepticons ambush Autobots on Autobot shuttle] Megatron? Decepticons! Megatron: Die, Autobots! Megatron: [Decepticons kill Autobots on board shuttle except Ironhide] This was almost too easy, Starscream! Starscream: Much easier, almighty Megatron, than attacking the real threat; the Autobots' moonbase! Megatron: You're an idiot, Starscream. When we slip by their early warning systems in their own shuttle and destroy Autobot City, the Autobots will be vanquished forever. Ironhide: No! Megatron: Such heroic nonsense! [blasts Ironhide's head off, killing him]
Starscream: Who disrupts my coronation? Galvatron: "Coronation", Starscream? This is bad comedy. Starscream: Megatron? Is that you? Galvatron: Here's a hint! [Galvatron transforms and shoots Starscream. Starscream crackles and falls to dust] Galvatron: Will anyone else attempt to fill his shoes? Rumble: What did he say his name was? Galvatron: Galvatron!
-------------------- I'm the foot fuckin' master! Soles RULE and FM Concepts ROCK! Posts: 536 | Registered: Jun 2006
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Eric [upon seeing Sookie naked]: "Such a strange sensation when the reality matches what you've pictured in your mind so precisely."
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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...... anyhoo...
