posted
Q: What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolph Hitler? A: Michael Phelps knows how to finish a race. ------------------------------------------------- Q: What do nine out of ten people enjoy? A: Gang rape. ------------------------------------------------- Q:What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? A:Einstein's Dick. -------------------------------------------------
This one I thought I posted in this thread but it must have been in the prior one that got deleted but this is my favorite, it kills everytime it hits anyone who's never heard it before...
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife".
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Oh did you now, And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Yes, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come." -------------------------------------------------
Observation of the day..."Hedgehogs why cant they just share the hedge?"
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to her supervisor to file a sexual harassment complaint. She tells the supervisor what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, 'What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice'?
posted
Some more tastless jokes. Just how I like them.
Q: Where does Princess Diana stay when in Paris?
A: Any place where she can crash.
Q: What's the difference between Princess Di and Tiger Woods?
A: He's got a better driver.
Q: What did St. Peter say to Diana at the Pearly Gates?
A: Wipe that "merc" off your face.
Q: Did you see the wall Princess Di drove into?
A: Neither did she.
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Non-Diana jokes.
Two brothers are opening presents at Christmas. The younger brother has 20 presents and the older one only has one. The younger brother says to the older one, "Haha, I have 20 presents you only have one!" The older brother replies "Haha, you got cancer."
*Let's see if you get this one*
Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A: A pick pocket snatches watches.
Q: Why are women's feet so small?
A: So they can stand closer to the stove.
Q: What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
quote:Originally posted by Drunk_24-7: ------------------------------------------------- Q: What do nine out of ten people enjoy? A: Gang rape. -------------------------------------------------
I told that joke to a girl earlier today. Her response: "Sometimes 10 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."
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