posted
This is probably the 20th time I’ve started to write this post. Every other time I’ve chickened out at the last minute. I told myself today that this was it so let’s see how far I get.
I’m a 38 year old wife and mother. I have a wonderful husband and a super 12 year old son. Up until maybe 5 months ago I knew nothing at all about foot fetish. I had probably heard the term, but really had no idea what it involved and certainly did not know how common it apparently is. Over the last few months I have been searching online trying to understand it (which is how I found Wus) with the hope that I could learn how to deal with a situation that I honestly don’t know how to deal with.
It started earlier this summer. My son and one of his best friends (I’ll call him Timmy) were at our house when I came home from work. The boys were hungry so after changing from skirt and heels to shorts and flip flops I went outside to cook them some burgers on the grill. After putting the food on the grill I went back in the house to get sunglasses. My son was alone in the living room and I was told that Timmy was using the bathroom (the bathroom has a door in the hallway and also a door leading into my bedroom). When I walked into my bedroom to get my glasses something seemed out of place. I’m not sure why I noticed, but the shoes I had worn to work, and that I was sure I left at the foot of the bed, were not there. Assuming I had thrown them in the closet, I didn’t think anything else of it. Not until about an hour later that is. That was the next time I went into my room, and this time my shoes were right there in plain sight. Since it was just me and the boys in the house, and I knew where my son was when my shoes were missing, I couldn’t find any explanation other than Timmy had taken them, although why he would do something like that I couldn’t imagine. A few days went by and again one day after work I noticed that my shoes were again missing from my room while Timmy was in the bathroom.
That’s when I started searching on google. I needed to know why Timmy was sneaking off with my shoes. Needless to say that I was overwhelmed by the number of sites that dealt with women’s feet and shoes. It was only after reading though numerous forums (especially this one) that I realized that many guys enjoy the smell of women’s feet, and that it is apparently not uncommon for some guys to want to smell the inside of women’s shoes. Of course I’ve also read about guys doing other things with shoes which is why I began looking inside my shoes after Timmy would return them, and thankfully have never found any indication that Timmy was doing anything other than smelling them.
So after becoming somewhat educated on the subject, I began keeping a closer eye on Timmy. Almost like clockwork he would need to visit the bathroom shortly after I came home from work. He would take my shoes each time. I also began to notice from the corner of my eye that he seemed to stare at my feet a lot especially when I was barefoot or wearing something like flip flops. Then one day when we were sitting around watching a movie I noticed that Timmy seemed to be doing an aweful lot of texting on his phone. But there was something weird about how he was holding it. Almost as if he was aiming it at me. I began to wonder if he was taking pictures. When the movie was over, the boys went outside to go in the pool. Now I know what I did next is very wrong, but I would argue that so is taking someone’s picture without them knowing. I grabbed his phone and looked for pictures on it. There must have been about 30 pictures of me, all from that day. Most were just of my feet, but there were a few head to toes shots.
So this is my dilemma. My son’s best friend is apparently obsessed with my feet. He sneaks off whenever he can to get at my shoes. He probably has a harddrive full of pictures of me. I think he has even stolen an old pair of flip flops from my closet. He’s really such a good kid. Until all of this I always thought of him as another son. I’ve thought about confronting him, but I’d hate to embarrass him that way, not to mention I’d probably be too embarrassed talking to him about it. So for the past few months I’ve lived with it. I’ve tried to rationalize that it’s not hurting anyone. The one thing I am worried about is him getting caught by either my son or my husband. That would certainly be worse than me talking to him.
Sorry for being so longwinded, but I had to get this off my chest and this seemed to be the best place. I would really appreciate any suggestions.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Nov 2009
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You have a very interesting situation, one that is very sensitive considering the age of your sons friend. I understand your dilemma, on one hand you want it to stop before it gets out of hand and on the other, you don't want to embarrass him. I think you have an opportunity to help him going forward. You must confront him to ensure he doesn't go through life thinking it's ok to steal Women's shoes. It's true, that it may be a little uncomfortable for the both of you but the uncomfortable feeling is nothing compared to the anger and betrayal that your husband and son might feel should they find out.
Go gentle on him and let him know that what he is feeling is natural. Maybe just let him know that the way he is exploring his newly found sexuality is wrong and that there are other avenues that he can explore that do not include theft of women's shoes.
posted
This is a very sensitive subject. On the one hand you can certainly take it as a compliment, he obviously thinks that you and your feet are very attractive. It can, however, be troubling as he certainly is violating your things, and your privacy. I am not a therapist, but I feel for you both. He has a crazy crush and foot lust for you which, as a foot fetishist I understand, but he is also violating boundaries. What I suggest may be controversial, but I think it is best. I would confront the young man in private, nobody else but you and him. Tell him how much you like him, and think of him as a son, and that he is a great friend to your son. Then make a deal with him, that he can deal with. Listen, I know you like my feet and I am flattered. The taking of my picture and the taking of my shoes has to stop though. I will let you massage my feet for ten minutes, when you are done, you are not to ever touch my shoes again! Do we have a deal? This is JUST between you and I, nobody else is to know, OK? Not EVEN my son! UNDERSTAND? I want us to remain friends, can you comply with my wishes? You will give him an incredible thrill, something for him to remember, you will make him happy, and give him enough for him to stop his behavior at least with you! Hopefully win/win without embarrasment or further trouble.
Posts: 1914 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
You should communicate this situation to your husband, and ask him that you want his help, but you feel awkward and embarrassed if you have to embarrass the kid. Between your husband and yourself, the two of you should be able to find a diplomatic way to confront either the child, or his parents. And his parents can deal with the situation the way they feel is fitting.
I hope you find a tactful way to solve your problem!
-------------------- Music is the language of the heart, the sound of the soul. The more we understand it, the deeper the listening experience becomes. Posts: 206 | Registered: Dec 2004
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thanks for sharing your story/dilemma. For us men loving the smell of women is nothing strange or new, men love the smell of a women and especially the places where scent seems to really set in, which is why lots of men like feet and shoes and sock and other worn items.
Please don't think any less of this young boy. I can only speak for myself, but there's nothing strange about me (as far as I know) and I've loved women's feet for as long as I can remember.
Sexual/sensual urges tend to make us do things that we probably shouldn't do, but as we (humans) get older, we think before we act on any urges (I like to think most people do that).
But I have to admit that when I was a young boy, I actually did quite simular things, not the exact same thing, but simular things, of which I now really hope and pray that nobody ever caught me with, but at the time when I was 10 years old or 12 or something, I really didn't realise what I was doing exactly, I just know that I really enjoyed it, the urges were very strong.
in every walk of life you have good and bad people, good religious people, bad religious people, good employers, bad employers, good workers, bad workers and among men that love womens feet there are also strange weirdo's and normal regular men.
If this young boy is a nice boy and a good boy personality wise and you've always been happy that he's part of your son's life, please don't judge him on the fact that he has this urge for your feet, he's very young and probably doen't fully understand what kind of bounderies he's crossing right now, he'll probably be very ashamed of what he's doing right now in a few years. not that it's wrong to love feet, but taking your shoes and pictures is wrong, but at this time he's only 12 years old and he has nothing in his life that comes even close to the sexual needs he's most likely having and these things that he's doing are the best thing he's got at the moment.
I really don't know what you should do right now, I don't think anyone is able to give you a helpfull sugestion. it would be crazy if he got caught by your son or your husband and like you said, if you confront him, he'll probably be very very very ashamed and embarressed.
But I have to be honest, I really think it's the best way to go, if you're able to have a good talk with him and you have that kind of relationship with him that you think you're able to have this kind of conversation with him, then I think you should. It's a hard thing to do.
I know I'm probably taking myself down by what I'm going to say next. I still consider myself to be a very normal guy and I'll share my skeleton in the closet with you and everyone who's reading right now, for the benefit of this young boy, who's probably just a very nice boy who happens to love women's feet. When i got around the age of 17 or 18 I used to have this huge fear.. the fear of having my sister's friends find out about "foot fetish". Because when I was really young (about 11 or 12), I always used to play this game with her friends, just playing around like kids do which involved me being in a dark little tent, while my sisters friends would stickk their hands in the tent very quickly trying to grab candy off the floor before i could catch them with my mouth. silly stupid game, I know, but when playing with friends and/or girlfriends at that age you tend to do silly games. I was kind of fast and had them most of the time, even though I couldn't see that well in the dark little tent, but eventually your sight get's better in the dark while your eyes adjust and one of my sisters girlfriends stuck her foot in the tent as a joke too see what i would do and to see if i could even see the difference between her hand or foot in the dark. men i got so nervous and didn't know what to do, I eventually just got real close to her socked foot and smelled it, but after she did that, all of them just stuck their feet in their and i couldn't resist anymore, so i just has all of those pretty socked feet in my face and in my mouth from time to time when we played that game and i always acted lilke I hated it and was discusted when they jokingly put their feet in the tent in stead of their hands...
men, it's kind of painfull to share this weird story of mine, but it's a true story and now that i'm 30 years old, I'm still kind of embarres everytime i see one of my sisters friends, because they're my age and some only 1 year younger that me and surely they now know what that game was all about to me, even though I acted like I was discusted with the fact that they put their feet in their in stead of their hands sometimes, they probably knew I liked it, because I'm a bad actor and anytime a socked foot came in their, I was all over it, men this story could really take me down from a normal guy to sounding like an idiot or weirdo.
hopefully this didn't take me down so much. I'm still ashamed somewhat of that whole game and anytime I encounter some of my sisters friends, I still hope and pray that they forgot about that thing, it really meant a lot to me at the time, it was very nice, I'm sure it didn't mean a thing to them so hopefully they've forgotten about it by now.
please don't judge this young boys caracter in anyway. I think he'll be ashamed forever if you talked to him about it, but if you think that there's a huge chance of him getting caught by your son or husband, talk to him. If the chance of him getting caught is very small, please just let him do his "thing" to the extent that you feel comfortable with it, confront him when you think he's taking pictures, make a joke out of it or something. so he'll stop doing that, about the shoes, men, if you can handle that fact that he smelles them, just let him do that. I promise you that he'll be so ashamed within a year or two that he'll just stop doing it, because most likely he'll be having a girlfriend or something.
I really don't know how to end this reply in a way that still makes me sound like a sane person. But if the chance of him getting caught is minimal, just try to control the things about the situation that bopther you, like the cellphone pictures, just try to jokingly comment on it while you think he's doing it, he'll probably be so afraid of getting caught then that he'll stop taking them all together. maybe he'll even stop with the shoes, but if you can handle him smelling your shoes, just wait it out, he'll stop doing it.
for him being a big fan of your feet, don't expect him to stop that, he'll probably still like your feet when he's grown up into adulthood, don't judge him on that, it doesn't mean that he doesn't respect you or likes you, feet can be very sensual/sexually attractive to men and if he likes yours now, he'll like them 15 years from now. he's just to young to realise that he's going a little to far at this moment to satisfy his urges.
He'll realise it soon enough, maybe jokingly confronting him while he's taking cellphone pictures of your feet will be enough to skare him into getting caught.
I hope you found something usefull in my twisted story and revelations of my own shamefull youth, I really couldn't help myself when I was 11 years old and this boy that's takes your shoes can't help himself either, but it I think it would be enough to jokingly confront him when he's taking pictures, If it were me, I would be scared to death at that moment, scared that you'll ask for the phone to check or scared that my friend (your son) would want to check, men it would kill me if that happened to me and I don't think I'll ever take a risk like that again, because then you know that the mother is watching you in a way.
that's mu suggestion,
hope I've helped in anyway, if not, I tried my best to do so.
greetings from europe
Desmond
(30 years old and still claiming to be a regular social human being!!! haha)
Posts: 225 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Mmm, it's a confusing time at 12 and finding you have a foot fetish. I wouldn't really say that you should confront him (but this could be me thinking of how embarrassed *I* would be were someone to bring it up with me in a similar situation).
When I was younger, I used to take candid feet photos for obvious purposes and very nearly sniffed a few pairs of shoes (but managed to contain myself, fortunately.) Yes, it was wrong (part of the danger was exciting), but I would LIKE to say he'll grow out of it. I did and haven't become a foot-crazed maniac or anything. I'm in a healthy relationship with a girl I love more than oxygen...
It is a tricky one; the first step would have to be not being barefoot around him and not leaving your shoes where he can get at them (I, as a fetishist, even hesitated to write that haha, but it really would be for the best).
I mean, you know your husband better than anyone else obviously, but if you think he'd be insightful, non-judgmental and be able to offer some advice on the subject, then by all means go for it, but only if all those categories are fulfilled. It's a delicate time and any negative connotations you might (accidentally) put-forward about him being "not normal" or whatever may lead him down the path of the clandestine and make him be "the guy" who gets arrested for licking girls' feet while they sleep etc...
My basic message is that although I could not guarantee that he'll grow out of it, drawing from my own personal experiences, it's likely and I think the cons of talking to him about it may well outweigh the pros...I really hope this was helpful.
I feel awful for even suggesting it, but maybe a scare tactic might be useful...for instance knocking on the door to ask if he's alright, shouting up the stairs "Has anyone seen my shoes? I could have sworn I left them here..." and then allowing him time to return them etc...it sounds callous, but if it shocks him into not doing it anymore...perhaps it'd be worth it...
(And you honestly have nothing to worry about posting on forums like these - some have really mean guys on them, but this one is full of decent, upstanding people...plus you're totally anonymous )
I hope you let us know what you decide. Genuinely, the best of luck with it, "JustVisiting".
quote:Originally posted by desmond: Sexual/sensual urges tend to make us do things that we probably shouldn't do, but as we (humans) get older, we think before we act on any urges (I like to think most people do that).
The scare tactics will most likely be enough to scare him into stopping it all together.
it would've beeen more than enough for me to stop doing if it was me at 12 years old!!!
scare tactics, ofcourse it will scare him like he's never been scared before, but maybe it should, because he's just crossing some lines here and he doesn't really realise it now, but he probably will in a few years, but using scare tactics will probably speed up the process of him realising that he's actually going a little overboard with taking the shoes and pictures.
Posts: 225 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
To your son's friend, I am 59 years old now but when I was around 9 years old a few decades ago. My best friend mom feet was attracted to me and for many years, and even when I went into the Navy I use to masturbate thinking about her feet. And, even today I occision think of her feet.
I remember this one time when I spent the night at their house. My best friend and his brother when to bed early in which I wasn't sleep so his mom and I look at the TV supposely until I got sleep. But, I was on a mission to touch my best friend mom feet.
After reading your letter and thinking back I wish she had let me massaged her feet as often as I wanted it. It was on my mind but I was to young to ask and would have been embarressed if I did and the fear of getting in to trouble.
posted
What I subject but it might be risky which is if you like the idea of him smelling your shoes is to give him a pair as a present with a little note saying, “I know what you have been up to with my shoes and its okay and I understand because you are not along in this kinder behavior a lot of males in the world enjoy what you are doing.” But, first you have to know this kid and I believe if he going to be a truth foot fetishes person he will not saying anything to anyone about his gift of his best friend mom’s shoes. Right today my wife now wrinkled soles feet is one of the biggest reason I married her and so my two ex-wives, if is all about women feet to me and always will be. I am always worshipping her feet so much she allowed me to find other women feet to worship. The smell is intoxicating, the feel of those wrinkled soles is sensual and the sight of woman feet in high-heels shoes is sexual. Today, it is a turn on but at my age I leave the physical sex out because it will became an addiction. Because I have learned from my past to only play with other women feet to satisfied my desire in which it is clean, honest and most of all the enjoyment of worshipping another women feet. By the way, foot fetish guys make to best lover I have been told by many women because we are patient by starting with a woman foot first which is fore-play.
posted
I know I'm developing something of a reputation as the in-house skeptic, but something sets off my Spidey sense about this posting.
Admittedly, I've been very interested in some friends' mothers over the years and have done things with their shoes and lacy underthings that would make "Timmy" seem like a choir boy, so this posting is very hot in its own way.
It seems to me, though, that a "mom" interested enough in researching this further would have plenty of medical/psychological/scientific resources available online before turning to a forum where people post photos of cum-soaked footjobs and explicit stories about their own experiences. Just sayin'.
If I'm wrong, please join me in welcoming our new visitor aboard. But something tells me I'm not.
I can write a personal story, or give you a long 'talk' that i'm known for around these parts. but let me just go a little simple and ramble from there.
first, welcome to our place. second, you're the coolest mom!!! you're responding to this with much thought and much much care. I fully applaud you on this!!! you're a wise woman, and your hubbie is blessed to have you!
ok. to the matter at hand, getting your hubbie invovled feels bad (initially). he could take it any number of ways, and you know him best.
my thoughts lean on having a chat with him. he's like a son to you. something along these lines:
You're a son to me and i've discovered something that potentially tough to talk about. what i've notices is..... (explain what you've noticed). I'm cool with you exploring what you like, but I'd love to see you use some thought to what you do. It's between you and I and it can stay that way if you respect my wishes. For starters, please don't take full head to toe pics of me. if you do, things won't stay cool. second, you're not alone in what you like. how you go about it is what makes all the difference in the world. it's not cool to go grabbing women's bodies, it's disrespectful, feet are part of that whole (you don't have to phrase it that way of course, you get the idea)
this part is more my opinion than anything, outline what you think is fair exploration that involves consent, discretion. A foot massage may not convey the thought.. but you're the best person to judge.
in the end, the goal is to let him know that you know, and that if he shows respect, you won't tell anyone else that can embarass him. and that you're flattered by it all. and that you're hoping he can find his way and share this with someone closer to his age later on in his teen life. (yeah, i'm a bit conservative)
let me share briefly my personal story. my mom as so not cool with me showing interest in women in my teens (very religious old school) and the time she suspected i had a thing for feet, she was super heavy handed in punishment.. i took my interest underground. took years to bounce back. but i digress.
a woman at church did pick up on my interest, because i kept staring at her anytime she had on mega heels. (i like high heeled women and hosed peds). one day, she pulled me aside and said that she noticed something about me that singled me out as a growing man. i had a great eye for fashion and she hoped that when i grew up, i'd find a woman who'd model for me and dress up for me. she then, slipped her shoe off (discretely looking).. my jaw dropped.. she lightly touched my jaw and said, you see son, that is what i'm talking about. you're sensitive enought to know when a woman looks great and when her feet are tired. and as you grow up, you'll learn to keep your expressions discrete. that can open up doors for you later in life.
i got the lesson. we got to know each other better. i hung out with her kids more. i could tell she knew well what i was about. but that interaction was a life saver. i learned to be discrete and less obvious. also, learned to be patient. months later, she and i did have another chat about what it was about heels that made a gal sexy (and she took the more academic and scientific approach). what made my life awesome, she never told anyone. and when my mom had her outburst on me (she hoped by embarassing me, i'd forget what i liked) this woman took me aside and said that not everyone would get it, but i'd soon learn to discern who did, and i'd have a great future as a sensitive man.
this made a huge difference in my life (i kept the story as short as i could). yes, i eventually asked her permission to massage her feet (i was 14 at the time and our friendship was well passed 2 years in the making). i only got one massage though and it was short.. she told me that in the context i had asked, it was appropriate and she agreed because i had shown great tact and discretion. i was her hero.
bottom line, had she gone a harsher road, it would have scarred me. she set the boundaries well. though i was tempted to smell her shoes many times and had access, our chat set that boundary clear and i didn't want to dissappoint her. i think in retrospect, i could have negotiated for that option.
so, before i digress further....... if i was him... i'd be mortified you knew.. but releived that you'd talked to me and made me feel at ease that if i didn't misbehave no one needed to know.
if the outcome of the talk was geared to increase my awareness of myself and comfort with myself and emphasis on self-control, i'd say it would have been a good talk. one that i'd be beat red about about, but one i'd respect. the teen side would have loved to have the option to sniff your shoes in the future as the custom became to be what it is.. with the contractual agreement never to "deposit" anything in the heels. and of course some framework to stop sniffing over a course of limited time (yeah, i'm rooting a little for the fella.. but limited time like a few more days spread out)
i digress a little again. you're really a cool mom!! that's awesome!!!!!
i suspect your son may have an idea. i knew all the kids in my circle who had a thing for feet. some handled it well.. others became perves about it. just like breast guys spot each other fast, i suspect footguys the same.
it's refreshing to see such an open minded "newbie" to the subject. i'm so glad you didn't freak out about it.
now, if he can't respect your wishes and give you space, then, please, let him know your husband will get involved. and if that doesn't help him straighten out, in due course, his folks will know (don't let him know how much details his folks will know or not know). i suspect he's done this with you because of not just a crush, but because he knows you're really cool and he's hoping to figure this out before getting caught.
but please, talk to him! if he doesn't get assist, he can take it way too far. and it's a compliment to you.. some gals have really stinky feet (and i'm not a fan of such) and yours have that appealing fragrance. cool stuff.
feel free to ask us more questions.. many of us have tons to say.. and i've said a lot more than tons. keep us posted. if you want to stick around later, be our guess. if not, glad we were able to help you out!
RPM
p.s. by the way, some of the pix i've posted online were from mom's who understood and shared their time with me as friends.. (never a face pic.. though.. lol)
posted
one note on the scare tactics.. it delays the obvious... but in my case, took my interest underground.. meaning.. i suppressed it for years.. but later, it was a problem creating loads of guilt and making me shy about dating. i started dating real late in life because i was trying to figure out if i was such a sick puppy that i didn't deserve love.
what helped me get past it was that lady's gentle but firm and fair approach with me. remembering her words and testing the waters and slowly opening up and learning i'm not crazy!
however, you know this kid almost like he was your son. i'm fully confident you'll do the right thing. you've researched this well.
you can go the open talk route.. or you can just cut his access off... but a conversation would help... even with denied access.
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